This is Not a Pity Memoir: The heartbreaking and life-affirming bestseller from the writer of The Split

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This is, without a doubt, my best book so far of 2022 and it’s going to take some beating (not that it’s a competition). I was immediately intrigued first and foremost by the title because I love a memoir but do also often mull the boundaries inherent in writing such a piece - who is it for, what’s its function for the writer and so on. I’m also aware that Abi Morgan is a writer for stage and screen and so I was interested in how her work might translate to the stage. It also teaches us about being grateful for the things we have and the strength of the human spirit when they are hammered with tragic situations yet still find the heart to pull through. It also gives us an appreciation for all the caretakers out there, the ones who took care of people during Covid, and the families and friends who care for their loved ones selflessly. But really, what she has learned has mostly to do with love. “Let’s be honest. I’m a tufty-haired, one-breasted, fiftysomething woman who’s got a few Baftas and yes, that’s brilliant. But life also goes in cycles. I am not the big I-am. I think my greatest fear is to end up some old buffer at Bafta. Being with Jake, and what we went through as a family, has changed us. We have a greater appreciation of each other. We’ve seen each other at our worst moments. I didn’t realise I loved Jake so much – that’s the biggest revelation. It’s such a platitude, isn’t it, love? But… this hum. That’s the only way I can describe it. I just have this hum for Jake that I don’t have for anyone else.”

This was such a good, moving read. And I think Abi Morgan sums it up brilliantly at the end of the book ( this is not a spoiler) . What a talent, what a career, what a life, and what a treat to relive it all with this most down-to-earth of demigods. Possibly cut with a montage to include the walk on Primrose Hill with my mum and Mabel and ice-skating at Somerset House in those last days of December. A powerful, fragmented journey through brain injury. This book will especially appeal to Morgan's fans, and to those who have experienced similar journeys." - Library Journal Abi Morgan to many would have the perfect life…. Successful film script writer, loving actor partner, 2 teenage children , a London home and a holiday house in Italy…

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Took my breath away . . . I sobbed and laughed and then sobbed again. I think it puts life into perspective but also, by being a love story, it defies many of the norms. Morgan's unique voice rings out and she is a great companion throughout' EMMA BARNETT, i-Paper, Books of the Year This is one of those memoirs that everyone needs to read. The author was so honest and I can’t even imagine going through what she did. This book had me tearing up so much and at the end I finally cried. Gosh this book broke me. I don’t really have anything to say other than read it if you enjoy memoirs or if you want something emotional. I always struggle with reviewing/rating memoirs because it's important to remember these are true stories. These authors are sharing their lives with us and who am I to say it was boring/uninteresting just because I didn’t connect with it? Abi’s husband Jacob, collapses after a drug that he was taking to control his MS, is withdrawn. He spends a year recovering, the results are devastating for the family and Jacob.

The kind of book you will find yourself saying urgently, over and over, to friends. 'Have you read it? Have you read it?'" - Caitlin Moran The screenwriter Abi Morgan, best known for the films The Iron Lady, Shame and Suffragette and more recently for the much-loved BBC series The Split, works in a small flat above a perfumery in Islington, north London. Its rooms, pale and sleekly minimalist, not only smell lovely, the rose geranium and vetiver floating obligingly upwards; they’re also, for a writer, extraordinarily tidy. The casual visitor would not think for a single moment of fraught commissioning meetings and hurtling deadlines were it not for the little squares of paper that line one wall, on which the episodes of her latest project are neatly summarised. But like everything about Morgan, this tranquility is, perhaps, deceptive. While she, too, exudes a warm, outward calm, her interest extending to everyone she meets, inwardly it’s a different story. Sometimes, it’s as if a bomb has gone off deep inside her. “I am both absolutely the same and profoundly changed,” she says, sitting at her white table, turning her white coffee cup in her hand. Similarly, she explores the title This is Not a Pity Memoir, describing a dinner party at which a drunk woman derides what she calls ‘pity memoirs’ when a young Morgan expresses an interest in adapting the late columnist Ruth Picardie’s book into a movie.If this work is made into a screenplay, I hope it wins awards - and for Jacob I hope those award ceremonies bring cake, lots and lots of cake! If I hadn’t hammered it home by now, just to confirm: Big fan of this book. It’s moving, sad, heartwarming, unexpected, funny and clever. Plus more. If you love a pity memoir - this is one of the best I’ve ever read. I was in two minds about buying this book - whilst I love Abi Morgan’s work, I thought this could only prove to be a harrowing picture of the family’s life and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on that journey with Abi and her family. But then, she’s a glorious writer, so what the hell, if anyone could make this material transformative, it’s Abi Morgan! One afternoon, Abi Morgan returned home to find her longtime partner and father to their two kids collapsed on the bathroom floor. Jacob, who had been undergoing treatment for multiple sclerosis, had suddenly experienced a series of seizures and had to be put into a medically induced coma. As he slowly regained consciousness after six months, he made tentative steps to communicate with those around him, and grappled with the host of issues that had been triggered by the damage caused to his brain. But while Jacob recognized his family and friends, he didn't believe that the Abi standing in front of him—who had sat by his hospital bed, juggled care of their children, and liaised with his slew of doctors as he slipped between life and death—was in fact his Abi. Instead, he saw a woman whom he believed to be an imposter. It really happened. And what no one tells you about proper unfolding tragedy is that it is scary, and adrenalizing.

This is a story of dealing with the darkest of times. Laced both with humour and with darkness. And love that shines through.

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She met Jacob at a party. She’d always vowed not to get involved with an actor, but there he was: they collided with “absolute velocity”. By their fifth date, he’d virtually moved in. Their relationship wasn’t without its complications – their daughter was a baby when they first had counselling – but she was also certain about him, this energetic, joy-chaser of a man. Her parents (her mother is the actor Pat England, her father the theatre director Gareth Morgan) divorced when she was small, though they remained friendly, and somehow this has worked in her favour. “I’ve always felt less, rather than more, likely to separate,” she says. “Though I am curious about the legacy of divorce, for children.” A remarkable story, certainly, and one worth reading about (if only through a couple of long magazine articles), but not a stand-out memoir for me.