True Secrets of Lesbian Desire: Keeping Sex Alive in Long-Term Relationships

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Peixoto MM, Nobre P. Prevalence of sexual problems and associated distress among gay and heterosexual men. Sex Relatsh Ther. 2015;30(2):211–25. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2014.986084.

Nimbi FM, Tripodi F, Rossi R, Michetti PM, Simonelli C. Which psychosocial variables affect drive the most? Analysis of sexual desire in a group of Italian men. Int J Impot Res. 2019;31:410–23. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41443-018-0105-8. Janssen E, McBride KR, Yarber W, Hill BJ, Butler SM. Factors that influence sexual arousal in men: a focus group study. Arch Sex Behav. 2008;37(2):252–65.

Straightening up same-sex desire

O’Byrne P. Examining the intersection of desire, drugs and place among gay men. J Res Nurs. 2013;18(3):265–76. https://doi.org/10.1177/1744987111415040. Platteau T, Nöstlinger C, Schrooten W, Kenyon C, van Lankveld JJ, Colebunders R, et al. Sexual inactivity among men who have sex with men living with hiv in Europe. Int J Sex Health. 2015;27(2):83–92. https://doi.org/10.1080/19317611.2014.956852. Scissoring is another hotly debated topic. If you’ve ever watched lesbian porn, you could be forgiven for thinking scissoring is all women and vagina-havers do when they have sex with each other. In truth, some queer people love scissoring and do it regularly, others say it doesn’t work for them and it’s not part of their sex lives. Oral sex

Perry NS, Nelson KM, Carey MP. Diversity of psychosocial syndemic indicators and associations with sexual behavior with male and female partners among early adolescent sexual minority males. LGBT health. 2019;6(8):386–92. https://doi.org/10.1089/lgbt.2019.0113. In Alexander Brome’s (1620 – 1666) poem A Wife the speaker doesn’t want a wife to live too long and in fact would rather not have a wife at all :

High Art (1998)

While the lovers in On a Juniper-Tree appear to find mutual enjoyment in their pastoral paradise, Behn does suggest that Cloris hasn’t give her full consent to their lovemaking: ‘Nor would the shepherd be deny’d/Impatient he waits no consent’[222] and she refers to being ‘conquered’ by the shepherd: ‘Yeilds to the Conqueror all her Charmes.’[223] Moreover, Cloris has to subdue her shame ‘With love and Shame her Soul Subdu’d.’[224] Similarly in the poem The Willing Mistr Davy was not the only seventeenth-century woman to admit love for another woman; in France authors such as Mme. De La Fayette and Mlle. De Scudéry have been depicted by historians as having female lovers.[83] Moreover, female to female desire in all-women communities appear in a plays by both James Shirley, The Bird in a Cage (1632 – 1633) and Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle’s The Convent of Pleasure 1668. In The Bird in a Cage an over-protective father is planning to marry his daughter to the Duke of Mantua. The father confines his daughter, princess Eugenia, and her ladies to a tower where the women decide to stage a play to pass the time. The play depicts Jupiter’s seduction of Danae and while playing the part of Jupiter, one of Eugenia’s ladies, Donella, admits to an erotic desire for Eugenia. Annoyed by the interruption of a bell, Donella speaks the lines ‘[i]f you had not wak’d as you did Madam, I should ha’ forgotten my selfe and play’d Jupiter indeed with you, my imaginations were strong upon me; and you lay so sweetly…..’[84] Crépault C, Couture M. Men’s erotic fantasies. Arch Sex Behav. 1980;9:565–81. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01542159.