Transitional: In One Way or Another, We All Transition

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Full look by Simone Rocha. Shoes by Jimmy Choo. Jewellery by Boodles. Stylist: Thomas George Wulbern. Photograph: Hollie Fernando/The Guardian Perraudin, Frances (12 June 2019). "NSPCC apologises over decision to cut ties with trans activist". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077 . Retrieved 12 June 2019. In this life-affirming, heartfelt and intimate book, activist and model Munroe Bergdorf shares reflections from her own life to illustrate how transitioning is an essential part of all our lives. Through the story of one woman's extraordinary mission to live with authenticity, Transitional shows us how to heal, how to build a stronger community and how to evolve as a society out of shame and into pride.

In July 2019, Bergdorf was awarded an honorary doctorate from the University of Brighton in recognition of her campaigning for transgender rights. [25] In the time that followed, I felt abandoned and lost. I’d found myself settling for less than I deserved across the board – what I was paid, how I was treated, how I was loved. I settled for scraps. Everything had started to take a wrong turn. In Transitional, she says the first functional, loving relationship she has had was with Ava, a trans woman she dated for three years. Bergdorf has a tiny cross tattooed on her right wrist. She got it on a day trip to Brighton with Ava, who got a matching one. Transitional is dedicated to Ava’s memory. I ask Bergdorf what happened to her, fearing the worst. She seems thrown by the question, and edges her way to an answer. “Erm … erm … she passed away in summer.” How old was she? “She was 33.” Was she ill or did she take her life? Bergdorf looks distraught. She tries to answer, but an anguished noise comes out of her mouth, part groan, part wail. “She took her own life,” she says eventually. I went through all of that sh*t and came out on the other side, still able to generate self-love and compassion and understanding for other people.” The one thing Bergdorf does talk about in detail is facial feminisation surgery. In 2018, she underwent a series of procedures, including re-contouring of the chin and brow bone. For most trans women, she says this matters so much more than what they do or don’t do downstairs. “It’s my priority, because I show it to the world. But the ins and outs of what I’ve had done, I don’t talk about.” She hopes the book is more about interiors than exteriors. People can see for themselves what she looks like. She wants to show us what it feels like to be her; what it has taken to get where she is today.

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Munroe Bergdorf was appointed as Contributing Editor at British Vogue, and has written for publications including The Guardian, Evening Standard and Grazia. This is hands down one of the most important books that everyone should read. At least once. Without question this book is so timely with what's going on here in the UK and elsewhere. For me Munroe Bergdorf is up there with the best of humanity. She's as she always has been - essential.

Swimming was not the only sport she excelled in. She was the school’s top high jumper and a gifted middle-distance runner. Did she take pride in her achievements? “Not really. Not when teachers are poking fun at the way you move, and calling you a nancy boy because you’re running away from the ball because you don’t want to play rugby.” Rose Dommu (17 September 2017). "Munroe Bergdorf Perform's Maya Angelou's 'Still I Rise' ". Out . Retrieved 20 September 2017.

Is this an example of the other kinds of transition she refers to in the book? “I think so. It was transitioning out of an experience that didn’t benefit anybody. I don’t want to be at odds with the biggest beauty brand in the world for the rest of my life, and they obviously don’t want to be seen in a bad light. They have offered me a way to move forward, to understand where they went wrong, and to better improve the practices of their company, and I can be part of that. That’s a positive thing all round. Where cancel culture goes wrong is when people don’t really want to find a resolve, they just want to cast people out of the kingdom or demonise people continually even when they have shown they want to make amends.” Full look by Burberry. Jewellery by Bulgari. All photographs: Stylist: Thomas George Wulbern. Stylist’s assistant: Prue Fisher. Yasmin Alibhai-Brown (8 September 2017). "Munroe Bergdorf is abused while Jacob Rees-Mogg is lauded - only straight white men have free speech". International Business Times . Retrieved 27 February 2018. It’s only a year since she was last hospitalised with anxiety and depression, but she truly believes she’s turned the corner. For the past 18 months, she has been in a relationship with a British chef who works in France. “This is the first relationship I’ve had with a man that feels healthy and wholesome and encouraging. He’s incredible.” She shows me a picture of him, handsome, topless and blond, alongside her miniature Yorkie (a bitch called Teddy). She’s obviously proud of both of them. And then there’s her greatly improved relationship with her parents. Over the past few years her father has opened up about the racism he experienced in Britain. “He told me that a woman who worked in the corner shop would never put money in his hand,” she says. “She refused to touch him. She would always put money on the counter.” They now have a much better understanding of each other. I’m the most consistently happy I’ve been in my entire life. I’ve got so much love in my life and things to be happy for

It feels appropriate that the book is coming out now – the debate about transgender rights has never been so high profile or heated. In the latest census for England and Wales, only 0.2% of the population identified as transgender (equally split between men and women), but the issue has caused a mighty schism between Scotland and the rest of Britain. While arguments rage in Westminster and the Scottish parliament over the Scottish government’s gender recognition reform bill, drafted to make it easier for people to transition, we’ve heard remarkably little from trans people themselves. Which, Bergdorf tells me, is a huge part of the problem.

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At the age of 13, Munroe Bergdorf was a swimming sensation. But in her memoir, she barely devotes a sentence to her feats in the pool, merely saying she swam at national level, was ranked 11th in the country and didn’t have her heart in it. That’s all. She doesn’t tell us whether she enjoyed swimming, trained hard or dreamed of competing in the Olympics. Not even her stroke of choice or distance. Now I’m curious. Fancy being so brilliant at something yet so indifferent to it that it barely merits a mention in your life story. She was happy at primary school, but as she grew up she became increasingly alienated from her peers. “Once gender roles were introduced and the girls and boys started dividing, I didn’t really have a place because I was too girly for the boys and I wasn’t a girl – or seen as a girl. So I was ostracised, and the ostracism never stopped until I left high school.” Her own family struggled with her sexuality and gender dysphoria. Her father, in particular, found it hard to accept that his son wanted to be a girl. Gen Z, she said, “take a much more fluid approach to gender and sexuality … and I think that that’s where we need to go. We need to stop labeling ourselves with archaic definitions of humanity because we’re not simple. Humans are complex and you can’t label everything and you can’t label everybody else either. I feel like we need to widen how we see ourselves, and widen how we see each other, because then you realise that we all want the same thing.” The same month she was hired by Illamasqua, Bergdorf recited Maya Angelou's poem " Still I Rise" for a short film directed by Bec Evans and Laura Kirwan-Ashman. [18]