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How (Not) to Have an Arranged Marriage: The heart-warming debut novel from the Sunday Times Bestselling author

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When a person feels trapped in a relationship, whether it is arranged or not, then the amount of stress that they encounter every day is damaging to their health. Unless there are coping skills available, this disadvantage can increase the risk of depression and other mental health issues. But with that being said, I can’t lie and say that family and societal pressure don’t still play a role in arranged marriages. And leading on from the last point, this unity within families means that the couple will receive an exceptional amount of support from their loved ones. Or, of the living arrangements after the wedding (as it’s common in some cultures for the newly-weds to remain living with the groom’s parents and family).

Now, me, I'm thinking that statement, coming out of the mouth of a man who slapped and raped me last night, might just make me a little For a marriage that will last, having someone objective (the family in this case) who can judge whether the couple will make a good match or not seems like the safer option. 9) It’s a way to honor cultural traditions How (Not) to Have an Arranged Marriage is your debut novel. Tell me about the inspiration behind it? One of the fundamental aspects of any legal marriage, including arranged marriages, is the requirement for both parties to provide their free and informed consent to enter into the union. Consent is crucial to ensure that individuals are willingly entering into the marriage without any form of coercion or duress. Some Orthodox Jews practice a type of arranged marriage whereby the parents will find suitable spouses for their children using a matchmaker.

More clips from Satvinder Rana

Yes, he really does have a twin, by the name of Nicholas. Who is in Paris at the moment, but Kit pretends he just skipped town after "expressing concern" about the events of the previous night. (I can hear that conversation now: "Hey, Kit, I think I raped a girl last night. Bit concerned about it. Off to Paris!") It’s quite witty and an interesting, easy but thought provoking read. I’m always interested in other cultures and particularly liked that it highlighted some of the similarities between cultures, with overprotective parents being a theme in all. It also showed that even whether cross-cultural relationships could be viewed as an issue, that friendships and relationships still sprung up between different cultures. After all, in most cultures that practice arranged marriages, you don’t marry just your spouse, you marry into their family. 3) There’s no ambiguity around the other person’s intentions If both families find the initial information promising, they may arrange a meeting between the prospective couple and their families. These meetings can take various forms, ranging from casual get-togethers to more formal introductions. Throughout my research on this topic, it occurred to me that no stories of arranged marriages included the LGBT+ community.

These rights may include inheritance rights, healthcare decision-making, tax benefits, and the ability to sponsor a spouse for immigration purposes, among others. 6. Marital Rights and Protections

The parents, grandparents, and even extended relatives will band together and help the couple in times of need, as well as with: I know I’m not alone in knowing of couples who begrudgingly got together because their families wouldn’t accept a “no” without putting up a fight. Yousef is the golden child to his strict Pakistani parents, overshadowing his younger sister, Rehana. As he finishes his medical degree in London, Yousef’s life appears to be mapped out for him: become a doctor, marry a suitable girl of his parents’ choosing and, above all, make his family proud. Then Yousef meets Jess.

From the perspective of an individualistic society, people want to find someone who will be the best friend. That is what the definition of a soulmate typically is without the structure of an arranged marriage. The alternative is that you are marrying a stranger who could become your best friend… Or they could become your worst enemy. It wasn’t uncommon in the past for families who wanted to enter into business together or form alliances to arrange for their youngsters to marry. This book doesn't necessarily paint Eleanor's trauma with a light brush, but it absolutely paints it with a ... ludicrous brush? It's not well handled AT ALL. It's really only brought up when there is a need for dramatic tension: i.e., will Eleanor go to bed with Nicholas? NOT IF HER RESIDUAL No one is going to ask the couple whether they’re in love because most of the time they haven’t had enough time together for that to happen before the wedding.

The disadvantages of an arranged marriage

They just couldn’t get along, no matter how much support they got from family and friends. Neither did anything wrong to hurt each other, they just didn’t have that vibe. So there we have it – the pros and cons of arranged marriage. As you can see, there’s a lot to take in. Some parts of this tradition are well worth considering, but the risks are all too real as well. These families cannot afford to see a rift form that could last for years – if not generations. By keeping the parents involved (or the grandparents) with each step of the marriage, this structure can work to foster high levels of community success. Arranged marriages involve the active participation and involvement of families and communities. The process typically begins with parents, relatives, or trusted matchmakers who take on the responsibility of finding suitable partners for their children or family members. Family members may network within their social circles, attend community events, or seek assistance from professional matchmakers who specialize in arranging marriages. 3. Matchmaking Process

Individuals have the right to express their preferences, voice concerns, and take an active part in the decision-making process. Arranged marriages in the USA emphasize the importance of mutual consent and compatibility between prospective partners. 6. Cultural and Religious Considerations Then, as graduation day looms, Yousef's mother informs him that she's started looking for his wife . . . A fascinating insight into modern day arranged marriages . . . filled with family, food and warmth' – Heat, Book of the Week And that's before you even get to the central motivation for their relationship to begin with. Starting off with a rape had potential for interesting story developments and hardship, but it had only the very weirdest effect on the story. Having drugs involved muted some of the impact, both emotionally and on the plot, and I can go with that, but it was still kind of weird and much of the plot driven from that point doesn't withstand scrutiny or reflection very well. Although there is a lower divorce rate and more stability found in the average arranged marriage compared to couples who “found” each other, these benefits come with extensive disadvantages. Many people find themselves trying to make a relationship work when they feel no attraction to the other person. There are circumstances where an individual might decide to stay quiet instead of speaking their mind because they want to protect themselves or their children.Many cultures also follow the same stance, making it hard for people to come out, let alone ask to be matched with someone of the same sex. In an arranged marriage, you aren’t wed and then thrown into the world and left to work out the complexities of marriage alone. If you find yourself in the situation, then your parents and grandparents care less about the idea of falling in love than they do about what the outcome will be with a successful marriage. When the families are getting along well and the relationship is mutually beneficial, then love becomes a third tier of importance. If one person falls in love and the other does not, then there can be an exceptional amount of misery in this relationship.

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